Time again for another round of free punchlines to the $0.99 text message jokes from Last Comic Standing. I hope nobody is still paying for these.

Joke 1: Where does a general keep his armies?

Punchline: Up his sleeve-ies

Ok that one was absolutely terrible. Can this joke be fixed? If you think it can, please submit your alternative punchlines to tortilla@misterrandom.com or leave it as a comment. We’ll call it another contest but I don’t know what the prizes are at this point. Depends on the number of contest entries.

Joke 2: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Punchline: Fsssshhhh.

That’s an old one. You shouldn’t have had to look this one up.

Joke 3: Where did the cow take his girlfriend on their date?

Punchline: To the Moooovies.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Ok, I know we can do better than this. None of these jokes made me laugh. Ok, so maybe I laughed at Joke 2 the first time I heard it years and years ago. Now I know that the cow movie joke should be a piece of cake to come up with a better punchline. For sure leave your improved punchlines as a comment or send them as an email to tortilla@misterrandom.com. As long as I receive at least 10 entries, I will come up with a prize. Want to donate a prize? Just let me know. I will update http://tortillajoke.com before tomorrow morning as well with a recap.